I’m in the process of editing the videos of the dates and trying to give a good sense of the whole experience of being another person. I will post something soon. It has taken me a little longer than I expected to recooperate from “being” someone else for 2 months. I feel culture shocked, as if I’ve been to another country and now my homeland looks different from how I remember it. I needed a little time to reaculturate to “being” me.
I wrote Alan as myself thanking him for participating and making this a fun project:
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Mon, 05 May 2008 17:56:42 -0600 [05:56:42 PM MDT] |
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Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! |
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| Hi Alan,I wanted to thank you so much for making this a great project. Anyone could have won but I think you were selected because your description was sincere and detailed. You were brave to come here and participate in such a crazy venture. You were also really great at playing along and making the dates easy, non-stressed and “real”. I feel fortunate to have done this with someone who is a genuinely kind person and who Over those months, it was difficult at times to alter my personality, mannerisms, and I hope you enjoyed yourself and had an interesting time here. It was great getting to Sincerely, |
and his reply:
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Mon, 5 May 2008 20:14:32 -0700 [05/05/2008 09:14:32 PM MDT] |
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Re: Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! |
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You’re welcome, Jane! I had fun and it was nice Take care, |
Sorry, but we are having some technical difficulties. The server went down for the webcam, nothing we can do about it. It’s kinda like when myspace goes down and you just think ARRG! and then realize your life is more than the internet and you go do something different, like in the real world…
So we are having a lot of fun bowling. I won the first game (I asked Alan if he let me win, but he swore I did it all on my own.) And then he really beat me on the second game, but we both had improved a lot.
Hi there out there, Alan here. We’re having a really nice date here at the bowling alley, even though all the technical stuff isn’t working. I feel kind of bad for Delia because of it, because she worked so hard to put all this stuff together and Murphy’s law has struck, but I still think that there are a lot of things that did go right in this project. I’m still glad to be here, and I’ll miss Delia once the project is over and think it’ll be interesting to meet Jane when she gives me a ride to the airport later today. Well we’ve got one rematch game of bowling left and maybe a game of pool, and then I’m off, back to California. And Delia mentioned that she might return, so maybe sometime in the future we can do it again! Maybe. 
I think things are going really well. We are getting along super well and having fun. The first date was a picnic in the park. We chatted for a while and then TV station guys showed up and interviewed us both separately, which was weird but cool. It’s so strange to see yourself on TV. (I watched it that night at my friend Jess’s house)
I was thinking, ‘Do I really look like that? Do I really sound like that?’ It wasn’t a hundred percent flattering to be honest. I kinda hold my mouth in a funny way when I’m talking…
So then we ate some lunch and a zillion kids showed up and took over the benches right near us. And then the computer started running out of batteries, so we found a new location under a pavilion. It wasn’t the most private date between the kids, the cameras, the video, the TV station. But still I have a super time and really liked hanging out with Alan. He’s just really laid back and fun to talk to.
Here’s a picts of us sitting under the pavilion:
Then today was our next date and it was even better. We made spring rolls, miso soup and fried rice. He had never had miso soup and I’d never made any of that stuff before and it really turned out good.
It was a very fun date. I hope tomorrow turns out good too.
Then the date was over but my friend Jess offered to give him a free hair cut if he wanted. And it turns out that he really wanted one and had meant to get one before coming but didn’t have time (he’s been writing a screen play!) That was fun and it was nice to have him meet my two best buddies here (Gina was there too but had to leave right away.)
Jess is SO silly!
And here’s the real haircut. Turned out good didn’t it?
OK, I’m tired and need to go to bed and get my beauty sleep!
-Delia
Problems and more problems with the computer in the gallery. I’m ready to pull my hair out (no wait, I need that for my dates.) Everything worked for two weeks just fine and then for some reason it stopped working three days ago. So I bought a new cable and it worked for about 3 hours then quit. So over the weekend I took it in to the computer shop (where, of course, it worked fine) then took it back to the gallery and it did not work. So I called the TV company to see if that was the problem. After 2 hours on the phone with them, it was clear that they couldn’t help. The next day, I was pulling out the cable to try the TV with a different computer (in case that was the problem) and miracle of miracles the thing suddenly worked! ARRGH.
Today it did not work at ALL. So I almost had a break down, took it in to the computer shop again, managed not to cry, left it with them all day, helped set up for the Her Shorts International Women’s Video Festival, went back and it still didn’t work, got Mexican food next door (it was 2pm and I was starving…), went to the mall to get the ATT wireless card for the webcam, went back and…… it works!! Hurray. Of course, I want to check it out tomorrow morning to see if it works in the gallery. If it doesn’t, I think I will have a nervous breakdown (kidding, I’m really very level headed but just a tiny bit stressed right now.)
Her Shorts is 8-10PM
Alan arrives 10:14PM
Tomorrow:
Make signs and instructions for museum 5:30-8AM
Systems check in museum 8:30AM
Go grocery shopping for our picnic 9:30A
Pick up Alan and get set up 10:30AM
Dates 11AM-3PM
Teach my Class 3:30-5PM
Take a big ol nap 5:30PM
Phew! Can I go home now? No really, I’m super excited to meet Alan tonight, and then go on our dates. I spent the whole day yesterday cleaning. The house is cleaner than when I got here.
Then I had friends over for a dinner and good bye party. We had a total girl evening. Jess brought over stuff for facial waxing, and did my brows and lips. Bye bye ugly little hairs. She says they’re not noticeable, but I notice them.
BEFORE AFTER
And they helped me pick out outfits and jewelry. Jess lent me some of hers. It was fun.
I sure am going to miss those girls!!
-Delia
Alan is coming very soon! I am nervous and excited. I want everything to be perfect. So, far there are some great date ideas, but nobody is voting… Oh well. I suppose Alan and I can just pick what we want to do together. It was nice to get ideas in any case.
I can’t believe I’ll be going home in just a few days. I can’t wait, but at the same time, I’m going to miss this place. Just yesterday, I went for a walk with Gina out in the beautiful desert. It hit me that I’m really starting to feel like I know this city and have made some good friends. I’m going to miss everyone and everything so much when I leave. Who knows when I’ll be back again.
This experience has really opened my eyes. I won’t say it’s been easy or all fun. The real reason I agreed to do this (other than wanting to meet someone nice) is that I was afraid to live my whole life wishing I’d taken more chances, wishing I’d been more adventurous.
Having come here and lived a different life for a little while, I realized that I love my life, my home, my friends and my family. For a long time, I’ve been feeling like my life is a little boring by other people’s standards and that I’d let too many opportunities go by out of fear of the unknown. Now I realize that by not doing things I was also making choices, good choices because they were the right choices for me. It is really important for me to live near family and friends. I live in a beautiful place and I have a good life. It took coming here to make me really appreciate that.
Although it sure is beautiful here!
So anyway, I can’t wait to meet Alan… and I can’t wait to go home, and at the same time it makes me sad to be leaving.
One of my students told me, “You know I have to admit that I like you better than Jane!” It was so sweet of him and made me feel good.
Here’s another couple of messages from Alan:
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Thu, 24 Apr 2008 16:52:35 -0700 [04/24/2008 05:52:35 PM MDT] |
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Re: Only two more weeks! |
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Hi Delia, So do you know the area pretty well now? What kind of stuff is there to do in Tucson? Know of any good restaurants? When you talk about beautiful things I think of the northern lights in Alaska. You know one of these days I may travel to Alaska just to see them in person. They have pictures on the web and they look really nice, especially at night with snow and trees all around. -Alan |
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Thu, 24 Apr 2008 18:12:45 -0700 [04/24/2008 07:12:45 PM MDT] |
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Re: One more thing… |
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Hi Delia, That sounds good. When we meet at the airport you’ll just be out front, right? Or will you be in baggage claim or somewhere else? I think it would be cool to get your cell number just in case we have trouble meeting. I’ll probably have some homework to do I can take with me, as well as I like to attempt to write music, both of which take a lot of time, but some things I like to do other than that are walking through parks, museums, on nature walks… well, walking in general. I really like theme/amusement parks, but for a first date I’m thinking maybe lunch at a restaurant somewhere. Other things we can do is go somewhere there’s a large body of clean water, whether a river or a pond, especially if there’s a beach there. Picnics are cool. Skating is fun, whether on ice or on a floor; rollerblading, too. Kareoke/sing alongs are fun, especially with good songs. I also like swimming, badminton, and raquetball. It’s usually nice to talk to and meet friendly people. Perhaps you could introduce me to your friends. I’m probably one of the worst bowlers or pool players you’ll ever meet, but I can still have fun doing those things as well. Zoos and flea markets are also cool. I like some board games, too. Yeah, I’ll have to check with my friends for date ideas. Ok, ciao for now. Alan |
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And here’s my reply:
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Fri, 25 Apr 2008 08:55:46 -0600 [08:55:46 AM MDT] |
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Hello Alan, Today’s the date to vote on Date ideas! There are some good ones. You can vote or have friends vote if you want to. Voting ends tonight at midnight! I’ll meet you in the baggage claim area, and then I’ll drive you to your hotel. There will be a videographer and photographer set up to record it. Also, the local ABC TV station wants to do an interview on Tuesday with you (and me, I guess…) Probably in the morning before we go on the dates. Are you OK with being interviewed for TV? So, the dates will be 11am-3pm (MST) everyday, live online. So you can tell people to check it out. Should be fun. I hope people vote for something good. Can’t wait to meet you. I’m excited and a bit nervous. But no matter what, this should be fun. -Delia |
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Stay tuned and watch the dates this coming week: April 29- May 1
-Delia
I sent Alan a message asking him what he wants to do here. I also told him he can ask his friends to submit ideas for the Perfect date. I just want everything to go well while he’s here…
What would be your perfect date? Where would you go and what would you do on a first, second and third date? Is it different with someone you met online?
Please help me out and submit your best date ideas by clicking on Submit Date Suggestions on the Project Description Page. Thanks!
Here’s what I wrote Alan:
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Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:50:24 -0600 [12:50:24 AM MDT] |
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Hello Alan, One thing that’s difficult is that we are only supposed to see each other on the three dates with cameras etc during the hours of 10am - 4pm. Jane was very specific about this… Boo hoo. Anyway, I still have to teach and work and BLOG too while you are here so I guess that’s OK. So I want to make sure you have fun things to do while you are here and I’m not around. I’ll give you info on fun things to do around here, but I need to know what you like to do!! This will also help give me date ideas. BTW: I’m asking people to submit Perfect date ideas on the BLOG (you can tell your friends to suggest things… I have asked mine to submit theirs.) Anyway, let me know what you might want to do or at least some general guidelines like outdoorsy, touristy, random/strange, museums, sports, etc. I hope you have fun while your here both on our dates and in general. Can’t wait! -Delia |
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And the other reply:
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Wed, 23 Apr 2008 00:37:11 -0600 [12:37:11 AM MDT] |
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Re: Only two more weeks! |
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Hello Alan, Michael Jackson: Old Michael Jackson of the amazing singing/dancing talents? Or scary, plastic surgery, possibly a child molester Michael Jackson? Loved the old Jackson, scared of and sad for the current Jackson. Breath Mints (I drink coffee… I need to have mints around just in case…) I wish magic existed on the grand (Harry Potter) scale, but people would surely abuse it. But I definitely believe in magic on a small scale, like when you just feel that something is going to happen and it does, or everyday magic like flowers and butterflies and other beautiful things. -Delia |
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Well, things are happening so fast. Soon enough he’ll be here and we’ll go on the dates. I can’t wait.
The only problem now is figuring out what to do while he’s here. I hope people submit some good ideas.
-Delia
Alan wrote me back. Two messages!!
I feel silly for writing him about being nervous and down. Maybe it’s a bad idea to let a guy know when you are out of sorts. I don’t want to make a bad impression. You know, it might make him think I’m a whiner, and I’m not really. Pretty much I’m an upbeat person. It’s just that being here has been hard for me.
In general I’ve felt a cold shoulder from the other students. I know they have been super busy and I’m not part of their program, but sometimes I just feel like they don’t want to talk to me at all, like they really don’t like me. I feel like an outsider… and well, I guess I am. And then there are all the people who when I introduce myself, they either act weird or start laughing. It doesn’t feel like they are laughing with me either.
On a good note, my students are super sweet and always seem to do good work and are responsible. I really like teaching Jane’s class. Maybe it’s that it is something familiar. Back in Michigan I’ve been teaching art for years (not college though, except Continuing Ed.)
Also I’ve met quite a few nice people here. I love walking with Jess or Gina. The weather here is so beautiful and the desert is amazing. The cacti are blooming right now and you wouldn’t believe how beautiful and bright the flowers. I’ll have to bring my camera next time and post something.
Anyway, here’s Alan’s messages, isn’t he a darling!
Message #1:
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Mon, 21 Apr 2008 05:16:08 -0700 [06:16:08 AM MDT] |
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Answering in reverse order again… |
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Hey Delia, Yeah, sometimes I think about the future, but usually it doesn’t get me so down as much as I see something to look forward to. Of course, if I try and I fail at something that may alter my vision of the future, but on the other hand I’ll know that I did the best I could and that at least I tried. Then there are backup plans, like in choosing a career for after school’s done. I’m sorry you’re feeling bad and I wish I could make you feel better. All I can say is that I wish you well and sometimes bad things happen even to nice people. Sometimes thinking that helps me through tough times. I’m doing ok, although I’ve got to finish my script for screenwriting by the end of the week and my other instructor gave us some surprise weekend reading as well as assigniments that I didn’t realize I had until I checked my email just recently. My third class I’m almost finished with, though, as I only have 2 assignments left for it, unless the TA doesn’t like an assignment and I have to do one over, but I think that that isn’t likely. Fortunately I’m not sick right now, although some of my friends seem to have picked up coughs and colds somewhere, which sucks for them and I hope doesn’t happen to me, too. Sunday was nice, though. I met some new people at a friend’s birthday party. We played a game called “telephone,” where you whisper a phrase to the person next to you and when it gets around the room the last person says what they think the phrase was. I started one which was “The cheese is old and moldy. Where is your restroom?” which is a quote from the movie, Encino Man, and it ended up much shorter and had something to do with Jesus smelling well. I couldn’t keep myself from laughing. Oh well, maybe I have a weird sense of humor. Sorry to not write back sooner (again) and I’ll try to get to your other emails ASAP. Warmly, Alan |
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Message #2:
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Mon, 21 Apr 2008 06:18:19 -0700 [07:18:19 AM MDT] |
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Re: Only two more weeks! |
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Hi Delia, I’m getting excited, too. Time goes by really fast, huh? My family’s nice. I try to call my parents once a week and they’re pretty supportive of most things I do. They live in Northern California. I’ve got a younger brother, John, who lives about an hour and a half away from them and we talk every once in awhile, but he’s often busy, sleepy, or just doesn’t always answer the phone. But we get along. He’s very into Nirvana, Alice in Chains, Beck, and that sort of music. One of these days he may get his own band together, but he’s so busy with work, his girlfriend and her son that he probably has no time for it, as well as not having a soundproof place to practice. He seems at least semi-content, though. What’s your opinion of Michael Jackson? Breath mint or candy mint? Do you believe in magic, esp, and other supernatural things? Sincerely, Alan |
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Wow, sorry for such a long BLOG!
-Delia
I’ve been a lazy bones today. I didn’t get out of bed for real until 10am! I am feeling a little down and nervous and excited. Alan is coming in 8 days! At the opening I felt weird about all those people reading my BLOG and knowing about my life. It’s one thing to write a BLOG and know that somewhere out on the internet people can read it. But it’s another thing to be standing right there with people reading it and maybe judging you.
It’s making me really nervous about the dates. I mean, it’s going to be LIVE and people can watch us, like bugs under a microscope. I hope Alan isn’t feeling to weird about it. The big thing is that I’m realizing that they won’t feel like real dates with a webcam and camera crew right there. I’m already nervous enough to be meeting him and then to have all that…
So I wrote him:
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Sun, 20 Apr 2008 18:10:23 -0600 [06:10:23 PM MDT] |
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Re: One more thing… |
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Hi Alan, Can’t wait to see you. It’s coming up so soon. I’m a little nervous actually. At the opening I realized how weird it is to have my life up there for everyone to see. For some reason it is fine when I post something on my BLOG but pretty weird to be standing there in the gallery with everyone looking at it. We won’t be in the gallery though. Just on dates with a webcam and someone to video tape it. I’m still working on the videos. Just downloading it all takes a long time, and I haven’t even gotten to the editing part… Sometimes I wish I knew more about this stuff or managed my time better. Today, I was SOOOO lazy. I just didn’t want to get out of bed. I read a book for a while and took a nap later. Actually, I’ve been feeling a little down lately. I’m still homesick and a little lonely but I think it’s more than that. Helping out with this project just makes me think about my life and all the things I haven’t done yet in my life. Do you ever feel that way? Sorry to be such a downer. I’m usually a very happy person. It’s just being somewhere different, meeting new people, feeling out of my element and doing so many new things. I’m somewhere between just wanting to go home and wanting to change my life completely. Anyway, hope you are doing well. Let me know how you are. -Delia |
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I don’t know, I’m just in a weird mood today. I feel kind of ugly, fat and depressed, and it’s not even PMS. I’ve been dieting all week, low carbs, small meals, light meals, and trying not to eat after 6pm. For example:
I am going to the gym after I send this, and I’m scared to get on the scale.I REALLY wanted to lose a few pounds, 4 to be exact. I’m afraid I haven’t done very well with that. Last time I checked, I weighed exactly what I weighed when I came here. Boo Hoo! See, here I am at lunch out on the patio… I look just the same as when I got here. I haven’t lost an ounce:
Oh well, if I can’t lose the weight in the next few days, I’ll just have to wear clothing that hides my butt. Maybe Alan won’t care…
-Delia
I got a little more done at the plastic surgeon’s office. It’s still a bit swollen, but I think it looks good.
I still think it’s amazing that you can have your lips done so quickly and inexpensively. It’s not super cheap, but certainly affordable and it lasts abou