Alan is coming in less than two weeks!!!  I can’t wait. 



I’m going back to the plastic surgeon today, and I think I’ll get a little more collagen.  She did a great job and it looks completely natural, but no one even noticed… It’s a little too subtle.  I want my bottom lip to be a little bigger and that’s all!







Alan wrote me:

And my response:

He’s coming soon.  I hope we get along in personal as well as we have online… 

 -Delia 

Before coming here, I’d never been interviewed before in my life.  Now I’ve had 4 interviews… and maybe more to come.  One of them wasn’t a real interview, it was just a lunch with a friend of Jane’s that works at the paper, but he had a new camera he wanted to try and and said that he wanted to prove to Jane that he met me… I told him I was sure she’d believe him. He did ask me a bunch of questions anyway, but just mostly to be friendly.  However, it felt like an interview because I knew the camera was on for some of it.  

All these interviews have got me thinking.  I interviewed with Gina for her “Body Stories and she asked all about my body and sex and stuff like that.  I was really kind of uncomfortable, especially the questions about sex.  I’m just a private person about some things.  But when I got over being on camera, it felt like just girl-talk.  Because I got my lips and teeth done and I’m trying to lose weight, I felt a little stupid and superficial at times, but really I just want to look my best and I haven’t done anything drastic. 

On Friday I had an interview with a reporter for their Q & A section.  She audio recorded everything.  Two of the questions that really got me thinking were, “How are you and Jane similar or different?” and “Are you a feminist?”  

The second one kinda threw me.  I don’t think I’ve ever been asked that before, and I had to think about it.  It’s not that I didn’t know the answer but that I wasn’t sure what “feminist” means to her.  So I answered, “Well, on the most basic level, men and women being equal, yes I’m a feminist.  But on the man hating, bra-burning level, I’m not that kind of feminist.”  

I like men and want to get married and have kids and if I had enough money, I’d probably stay home with the kids until they went to school.  I know some people think this isn’t very feminist, but I think there’s room for everyone in feminism, and I’m traditional about some things.  Only for myself though.  I’m glad that other women can choose a different path.  I think what Jane has done with her life is good too.  She’s travelled all over the world and never married and doesn’t care if she has kids or not.

I guess that’s how we are different.  I’m a homebody.  I’m the girl next door.  I’m just a little less adventurous and ambitious or career oriented than her.  My artwork is important to me too.  I’m a good and successful painter,  BUT it’s not the driving force in my life, it’s not the end all be all for me.  Just stepping into her shoes for a couple of months makes me realize how crazy and obsessed she is with her work.  Since I got here all I’ve done is work on her MFA stuff, and that’s after her working on it for a year and a half.  To me… that’s just crazy.  I don’t want my life to be just Art.

When I was talking to Jane’s friend over lunch, he asked me how I saw myself in the future.  I said, “Married with kids.”  To be honest, I thought I’d already be married.  I thought I’d finish school, get a good job, work for a while, meet somebody and then get married and have some kids.  This summer I’m going to turn thirty.  I am not married.  I don’t have kids.  There’s nothing wrong with this and I like my life, but I just imagined that I’d already be married and starting a family.  

For some reason things haven’t worked out that way for me.  I’ve dated nice guys and been in love, but something always happens.  Either we weren’t right for each other or something else happened.  My longest relationship ended because he went to Germany for grad school… and I didn’t.  

The truth is I don’t want to be forty when I have my first kid.  

So that is why I decided to come here and help Jane out with her MFA.  To try something different, live somewhere different, meet new people and shake myself out of my rut.  Also, she promised to set me up with someone nice, and I think she did a good job. 

Example of my life in Tucson:


MMMMM… COFFEE


MY WALKING BUDDY/HAIR DRESSER!

Now that I’m done working like a crazy woman on Jane’s MFA show, I’m hanging out with friends, taking walks and (as Always) drinking coffee.  Mmmmm.

-Delia 

Well, it’s been a while since I posted anything.  For one thing, I got a new computer and had to figure out how to use it.  The other one is in the gallery.

For another thing, I’ve been BUSY!!  Since I last posted, I finished installing the show, did a million errands to get the show set up, met with Jane’s committee to show them the work and got my gap filled (see pictures of both below).  I’ll have a little time to myself now.  Tonight I watched “The Devil Wore Prada” tonight.  What a good movie.  I love Meryll Streep.  Plus it was nice just to veg out for a few hours.

I don’t have to worry about being bored.  I’ve been invited to go for lunch, out to hear a band and for a walk in the desert by some of the people I’ve met since coming here.  Everything’s looking up!  And Alan’s coming very soon!!I got my gap fixed, and it looks great.  You can’t tell I ever had one.  The dentist did a fantastic job.  It looks completely natural:

BEFORE   

AFTER   

Also, here’s some pictures of the installation in the museum.  I think it looks pretty darn good… I’m really proud of myself.  I’ve worked so hard since I got here.  Never in my life have I made anything like this.  Usually I try to be modest, but I did good! 

-Delia 

Another message from Alan.   I asked him what he would do if he had one day left to live:

Here’s my reply:

I went to the plastic surgeon today and had my lips done.  I was a little scared at first.  Mostly because, of course, I thought it would hurt.  It wasn’t too bad.  Not even as bad as having your teeth drilled.  She numbed my lips first with a topical anestesia, then injected my lips with cosmoplast.  The only part that hurt was when the needle went in, then it was over so quickly.   Just like that I had bigger lips. 

Afterward, I wondered how many people have this done.   Maybe when I see someone with beautiful lips, they have had them done.  It wasn’t that expensive or painful.  It was quick to do and was a nice subtle change.  Check it out:

However, she said the it will be a little swollen for about 24 hours so this may not be the final results.

What do you think?  They aren’t very different…  Do you think I should do a little more?  Think Alan will like it?

 -Delia

Oh, and I forgot to post a picture from the reception at the anthropology museum:

I’m getting my lips done this morning…

I’m somewhere between scared and excited.  Excited to see how it turns out, and scared of anything to do with needles…

The surgeon said it’ll last three or four months.   Collagen is a natural substance in your body, under your skin.  So it’s not like silicone or something that is foreign or unnatural.  Then over time the body just reabsorbs it.  She’s not going to do a lot, just enough to plump them up a little.

I’ll post pictures tonight!  And let you know if it hurt a lot or whatever…

Speaking of pictures, here’s some from the construction zone in the gallery that one of Jane’s friends sent me:

-Delia

I went to Best Buy to get a cable (which they didn’t have!)  and while I was waiting for the sales clerk to return from looking for what I wanted, this guy was sort of hitting on me.  It was weird.  He was about 50 and quite enormous and he somehow managed to find an excuse to touch me twice. 

First he asked about my necklace and grabbed ahold of it to get a better look (right, as if!)  Then, after asking what I do and all that, stroked, I say STROKED my arm while he asked about all the bruises on them.  “Is someone beating you up,” he asked, stroke stroke stroke.   YUCK YUCK YUCK, get the heck away from me is what I wanted to say….

Instead, I stepped back politely, pulling my arm with me and said, “No, I’ve just been moving heavy objects all day.” (speaking of moving heavy objects, I would have liked to move him and all his heaviness about a mile away…) 

To make things worse/weirder, his wife showed up and he waddled over to her and they chatted then we all chatted.  She seemed very nice and sweet and I wondered what she thought about her lecherous husband, or maybe she didn’t know or notice or want to notice or whatever.  Anyway, it was all very creepy.

Finally the sales guy showed up only to say that he didn’t have the cord.  Then I headed over to buy a wall mount for the TV in the museum.  The guys there remembered me from last time and chatted me up and gave me an extra discount (same as when I bought the TV.) 

I checked myself to make sure I wasn’t flirting or anything… Because when I bought the lumber, the guy at the mill yelled at me and said I must have flirted with the guy who wrote up the order because he way under charged me.  I told him, “No, I didn’t, really.  He was just being nice.” 

And it’s true…. his wife was even there (not that that matters judging by the creepy guy at Best Buy) and his was just being nice and trying to help me out.  Honestly!  I do NOT flirt.  I am nice to everyone for sure and I like to talk to people, but I don’t flirt, especially in any kind of attempt to get a special deal.  That would just be wrong!

Anywho… I feel both a little creeped out and unfairly judged, all at the same time…

 Boo hoo!

On a good note, everything is going SO well at the museum.  Three of Jane’s friend’s showed with trucks and a van, and helped so much and were so nice and didn’t accuse me of anything…

Here I am in the gallery working:

I rebuilt and upholstered that chair myself (oh look, my shoes are untied.) 

-Delia

 I am so pooped I don’t know what to do with myself… well, actually, I do!  I’m going to sleep as soon as I’m done posting this!!  So things are going well with Alan, except now it’s me who’s too busy to write… 

Now i feel bad.  Anyway, this is what he wrote several days ago, and then my response:

My Response:

 Good night!

-Delia

I tried to post something last night, but my computer freaked out in the middle of it, and it was already 1am, so I just pulled the covers over my head and conked out for the night.

First I have to say that I have been working like a dog for days…  I’ve been working 12-15 hours a day on Jane’s installation, and I’m pooped.  I can’t wait until everything is set up in the gallery and I can take a breather.  I’m going to go hiking in the desert, do some painting, maybe go on a road trip.  Anyway, here some of what I’m building (and this is only part of it.  It’s going to be pretty cool… if I survive til next week!):

I built this whole big platform by myself!  It comes apart, so I can get it into the gallery next week.  My back aches, my feet hurt, my wrists are sore…  I really don’t want to go back in tomorrow and work some more,

Now, what you’ve all been waiting for (well, maybe not… but anyway) pictures of Alan:

This next one makes me laugh!

So I’ll know he has hair…

And all his teeth:

 :)

OK, I have to get some sleep… so I can work my buns off tomorrow!

 -Delia

I am SOOOOO busy this week!!! Argh!Don’t I look worried in my picture!! Both Jane’s show open in the next couple of weeks and then I meet with her committee… I’ve done nothing but work work work. And I’m insanely sleep deprived, and it ain’t over yet.But on a super happy note, Alan sent somes pictures and a link to some videos he made. Which totally made me laugh. He looks just as cute, funny and sweet in his pictures as in his emails! His eyes are really nice, a great hazel color. I’m glad I finally asked him to send something. I’ll be honest… I was afraid he’d be weird or goofy looking or just unattractive… and then I’d look like a jerk if I wasn’t interested after he sent a picture. Or maybe I’m less shallow than that, and would be interested no matter what. Anyway, it’s nice to know that he’s good looking.

I’ll post his photos after I ask if he minds…

I wrote back: 



BTW, I’m doing horrible on my diet… 

I went over to Botgirl’s house to play video games.  She’s a friend of Jane’s who’s into gaming.  When I called, she said, “I’m kind of a geek about this stuff.”  I said, “Don’t worry, me too!” 

She let me play Ratchet and Clank while she looked for the second control.  I got killed about seven times before she found it… My learning curve for new games is VERY big.  I’m not much more coordinated in real life either! 

When she found it, we raced each other… mostly I ran into walls and over bus stops, guard rails and stop signs. 

Maybe we should have played Grand Theft Auto.  Hmm.  Which lead us into a conversation about whether or not video games encourage people to drive irresponsibly.  If that’s the case, maybe that explains some of the drivers here!  Although, generally it’s the opposite of racing.  It’s more like, ‘how slow can I drive before someone does something desperate and causes an accident’ kind of driving.

Between the college kids and the elderly (a bad combination…) it can be a little dangerous.  Actually, I don’t mind slow, but I don’t like it when people are gabbing away on their cell and not paying attention.  Now sometimes I talk on my headset while driving, but only on long distance driving when the traffic is thin, and I tell people that I’m driving and that I might have to cut them off if the driving conditions change.  It’s so important to be responsible when you’re at the wheel.

Or people who drink and drive… I can’t understand that.  I don’t drink at all, but even if I did, I would make sure there was a designated driver.  It’s sad how many people get killed each year, just because someone didn’t think ahead.  I don’t want to judge people for drinking, but it’s important to be responsible.

So anyway, yesterday was really fun, and today is Easter.  I’ll have to call my family.

Happy Easter everyone!!

-Delia

 I’m going to go sit by the pool and work on the computer while I get a tan!  Life’s hard here in the desert…

BTW I took this photo without showing my hips which is where I need to lose weight.  Tomorrow I’m really going to go on a diet!!  Really!!!   and today I’m going to eat a lot of chocolate…  I know I know.  But I need to prepare myself mentally for deprivation.

I wrote Alan again and finally got up my nerve and asked him for a picture.  I’m really curious about what he looks like.  We like each other already, so it doesn’t matter, right?  Plus, what can you tell from a picture online?  I’ve seen people’s profiles on myspace which don’t even hardly resemble them on a good day!  Come on…

Well, off to sit in the sun!

-Delia

I ate dinner alone again tonight.  It was such a beautiful night, that I lit some candles, plugged in the string lights out on the patio, and found a jazz station on the radio.  Sitting under the stars and full moon on a gorgeous night, I should have felt happy and sophisticated.  Instead, I felt sad and alone. 

In fact, I felt terribly sad and lonely all day.  I talked to my mom and dad for over an hour and then thought about calling my brother too and my best friend from highschool, but I had a lot of business to do and now it’s too late at night (their time) to call.

I realize that I’m used to living near family and friends.  If I’m feeling down, I can pop over to my parents and say hi or drop in on a friend.  Usually I just call people, same as here but somehow it’s not the same, knowing they are so far away.  Although I’ve met lots of cool people here, I haven’t made any friends yet.  Most of my conversations over the last couple of weeks have been with sales people or customer service…

I think I need to be more proactive and invite people over, if I’m going to survive the next couple of months.

This is honestly the first time I’ve really lived away from home. I know, I know, I’m nearly 30 and haven’t left the nest.  In some ways that’s not true.  The first year of college I lived at home, but then I got an apartment with some girlfriends from school.  We had a lot of fun and are still in touch. 

But, I’ve lived my whole life in Michigan, within miles of my family.  Although I’ve been to lots of places and even overseas to England and France… it was different because those were vacations.  Even though I’ve only been here a few weeks (about the time of a vacation), I’m really homesick.  If I had the choice right now, I’d probably pack up and fly home.

But I made a committment to take over things for Jane, and really I was so looking forward to living somewhere different, experiencing something new.  But being here makes me realize that I’ve idealized Jane’s crazy, footloose, world-travelling lifestyle.  She’s traveled everywhere and lived all over the place.  When I read her messages from far away places, I’ll admit I was jealous and, of course, excited for her.

But here I am, not so far from home, knowing that I’ll be back in May, still able to call my family… and instead of being excited, I’m homesick.  Maybe I’m just not cut out for adventure (even on this small a scale).  Maybe I’m happiest surrounded by friends and family, and then flying off on adventures… knowing that I can go home after a few weeks.

Anyway, sorry for the depressing message.  On a happy note, I drove to the Anthropology Museum.  It’s a couple of hours drive (gee things are spread out in the desert!)  and, as I mentioned, I gabbed on the phone the whole time.  Don’t worry, I wore a headset and was very careful… I’m a very responsible driver.

The desert was abs