Nervous About the Dates
I’ve been a lazy bones today. I didn’t get out of bed for real until 10am! I am feeling a little down and nervous and excited. Alan is coming in 8 days! At the opening I felt weird about all those people reading my BLOG and knowing about my life. It’s one thing to write a BLOG and know that somewhere out on the internet people can read it. But it’s another thing to be standing right there with people reading it and maybe judging you.
It’s making me really nervous about the dates. I mean, it’s going to be LIVE and people can watch us, like bugs under a microscope. I hope Alan isn’t feeling to weird about it. The big thing is that I’m realizing that they won’t feel like real dates with a webcam and camera crew right there. I’m already nervous enough to be meeting him and then to have all that…
So I wrote him:
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Sun, 20 Apr 2008 18:10:23 -0600 [06:10:23 PM MDT] |
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Re: One more thing… |
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Hi Alan, Can’t wait to see you. It’s coming up so soon. I’m a little nervous actually. At the opening I realized how weird it is to have my life up there for everyone to see. For some reason it is fine when I post something on my BLOG but pretty weird to be standing there in the gallery with everyone looking at it. We won’t be in the gallery though. Just on dates with a webcam and someone to video tape it. I’m still working on the videos. Just downloading it all takes a long time, and I haven’t even gotten to the editing part… Sometimes I wish I knew more about this stuff or managed my time better. Today, I was SOOOO lazy. I just didn’t want to get out of bed. I read a book for a while and took a nap later. Actually, I’ve been feeling a little down lately. I’m still homesick and a little lonely but I think it’s more than that. Helping out with this project just makes me think about my life and all the things I haven’t done yet in my life. Do you ever feel that way? Sorry to be such a downer. I’m usually a very happy person. It’s just being somewhere different, meeting new people, feeling out of my element and doing so many new things. I’m somewhere between just wanting to go home and wanting to change my life completely. Anyway, hope you are doing well. Let me know how you are. -Delia |
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I don’t know, I’m just in a weird mood today. I feel kind of ugly, fat and depressed, and it’s not even PMS. I’ve been dieting all week, low carbs, small meals, light meals, and trying not to eat after 6pm. For example:
I am going to the gym after I send this, and I’m scared to get on the scale.I REALLY wanted to lose a few pounds, 4 to be exact. I’m afraid I haven’t done very well with that. Last time I checked, I weighed exactly what I weighed when I came here. Boo Hoo! See, here I am at lunch out on the patio… I look just the same as when I got here. I haven’t lost an ounce:
Oh well, if I can’t lose the weight in the next few days, I’ll just have to wear clothing that hides my butt. Maybe Alan won’t care…
-Delia
October 1st, 2008 at 4:04 pm
For a diet, you’ve chosen really high calorie foods; blue-vein cheese, macadamias and almonds.