I am finding writing about the divorce time very taxing.  I just don’t know how to comment without sounding acrimonious and am not very sure of the details.  I do know that I went to work for Oceana County CMHS after your dad quit work. He planned on finishing work on the cottage we had built on Lake Michigan.  The school board was willing to call it a sabbatical, since he was a very valuable asset to the community and well thought of and they wanted him to return after he took a year’s hiatus.  

He was severely depressed and found working out there alone difficult.   He found my working very threatening, and was resistant to my going to play volleyball one night a week and going out for “happy hour” with the girls every other Friday night which was our pay-day.  He resented what he called “babysitting” for you and Cam when I went to classes to finish my teaching degree credits.  We argued a great deal, and I often went to work very sleep-deprived.   

You and Cam came to me and said that “You are too nice Mom, to have to live like this anymore.”   You were 8 and 11 years old at the time, and I was stunned because I thought children would want to keep their parents together at all costs. I discussed the situation with the priest at our church, because I thought marriage was sacrosanct and that we were meant to be together forever.  He said as long as I didn’t re-marry that the church would consider that we could live together again if we could settle our differenced. He also said that it was hard for you children to be caught in such a difficult situation.   

My mother helped me financially to hire a lawyer, who happened to be a class-mate of mine from high school to start suing for divorce.  He gave me some excellent advice about keeping your dad in the picture, and fighting to make sure you would have some money for college, but not fighting over trivial issues.  He said, “Lawyers make a lot of money off people who argue about the moose-head in the attic,” by way of illustration.   

I loved your dad and still hoped we could reunite.