My story of the day I was born: I had a friend once who claimed to remember not just being born, but before she was born.  She remembers selecting her parents.  I don’t know if I believe her, but it’s a beautiful idea, that you would have an opportunity to choose your fate.

Of course, it makes me wonder why someone would pick abusive/neglectful parents, or other unfortunate circumstances.  Did they make a mistake?  Or are there bigger lessons hidden in those experiences?  Does the world need pain and suffering to maintain balance?  Perhaps only the strongest souls choose to live a life centered on pain.  Maybe in doing so they keep the world in balance or carry us all forward to a more promising future.  Or maybe we don’t choose at all.I can’t remember my birth, but this is what happened:

My belly feels funny from where my knees are pressing against my soft center.  It’s not so much pain, as achy discomfort.  I try flexing my right leg but there isn’t any room.  I can’t move my arms much either and my face is pressed against something hard.  I turn my neck and feel a little more comfortable, but it doesn’t last.  I shift again and then something happens and I am squeezed from all sides.  It becomes impossibly tight but just for a moment.  I try again to move my legs and arms, but it seems to be better just to relax.  Something is about to happen, I am sure of this.  My life is going to change.The squeezing has gotten much worse.  My body is tense.  There’s hardly any respite from the pressure and it is growing stronger each time.  I don’t know how long this has been happening.  I don’t know if it will ever end.  Now I am not sure why I felt so certain that something wonderful was about to happen.  This is not wonderful.  It is not pleasant… and it is getting worse. 

I think I might be dying.My head hurts so much, and there is just pressure everywhere.  But I feel better.  Everything aches but I am not struggling anymore and I feel more comfortable, resolved.  I trust that something beautiful is going to happen very soon.  I am not dying.

Oh my god, oh my god, this is it.  Help… Everything is sharp, bright, loud.  Something is moving all over my body, it’s rough.  I’ve never felt anything like it.  My heart is beating so hard.  I want to cry.  Now, I am yelling and I can’t stop.  I don’t know anything.  Where am I?  With my mouth wide, gasping, I push out my arms and arch my back.  I stop crying as I realize something amazing: I can move.

I can’t decide if this is horrible or wonderful.  I don’t know that it matters.