I want her to be beautiful, which means…
The description starts with “the outside” so I will too. The following is a hard look at what he’s asked for and then a list of things I need to do. Please make comments and suggestions… help me decide what to change.
(on the outside):
thin or athletic: I think I’m more curvy than thin, but I’m not sure what his definition is for “thin”. The dictionary says:
thin
3. having little flesh; spare; lean: a thin man.
I am athletic, in that I work out often and enjoy running, weightlifting, yoga, hiking, biking, cross-country skiing, snowshoeing, kayaking, sailing, swimming and other “athletic” activities. But I don’t play any sports. Perhaps I am more outdoorsy and active than athletic. The dictionary says:
ath•let•ic
1. physically active and strong; good at athletics or sports: an athletic child.
2. of, like, or befitting an athlete.
3. of or pertaining to athletes; involving the use of physical skills or capabilities, as strength, agility, or stamina: athletic sports; athletic training.
weighs less than 150 lbs: I currently weigh 160 lbs (I just weighed myself at the gym and actually I weigh 154!) So, I’ll need to lose 10 lbs,(make that 4) and then I’ll reassess whether or not I’m “thin or athletic”. I know I can lose 10 lbs., but I’m not looking forward to calorie counting. I hate dieting. I’ve only done it once for a different project and the obsessive calorie counting drove me crazy. Once I’d dropped the weight and burned off most of my fat, I felt hungry all the time. I’d go to bed dreaming of what I was going to eat for breakfast. It was miserable. But, at least 10 lbs. is a reasonable amount of weight to lose in a couple of months. I won’t have to go hungry.
big boobs, like Jennifer Aniston: This one’s a little complicated. Jennifer Aniston’s boobs have changed with her body weight. Right now she is quite thin and her boobs are not all that big. In fact I think I have bigger boobs than her right now. But he may be describing a time when her boobs where at their biggest.
(A guy friend said this was the photo that made guys like Jennifer Aniston… So I had to add this in here!)
(This is the original one I posted:)
Are my boobs big enough?
Jennifer Aniston
Heather Locklear
Molly Ringwald
Liv Tyler
Serena Altschul
So the question becomes, do I have a “nice face” like these women? Do I need to change something about my face to make my face “nice”? Really it comes down to am I pretty enough?
hair and eye color doesn’t matter as long as she has hair and eyes: I have hair and eyes. However, he seems to like Jennifer Aniston a lot and she is famous for her hair. I think it would make sense to get my hair cut and styled like hers. I think he’ll like that. Although he says it “doesn’t matter,” four of the five women he mentioned have blue eyes, and all of them are carefully made up and coiffed. So I should probably wear a little makeup. Hair color really doesn’t seem to matter, there’s a dark brunette, two light brown, a red head and a blonde. I haven’t been to a hairdresser in a year. I usually just trim my hair myself. But, I’m ready for a real haircut and to have some damaged, dead weight removed.
hair is around shoulder length or longer: I can do that. I’ll make sure to tell the hairdresser not to cut off too much.
she isn’t crosseyed: Check. I’m not crosseyed.
around age 30: I am around age thirty, thirty six actually. I’ve been told I look younger and people often think I’m right around 30. I suppose I could get botox if I look to old. But I’m reluctant to inject botulism into my face unless it’s absolutely necessary. It just seems strange and barbaric to put a bacteria under your skin to kill nerves.
at least 5′ tall: I am 5’9”. He doesn’t mention an upper height requirement. So, I have to infer that tall is OK. I wonder though how tall would be too tall for him…
has no kids, but wants them with me: I don’t have kids, but this one will be hard. I’m not sure I can convince myself that I would want to have kids with him. First of all, I don’t really know him well enough to want to have kids with him. What happens if I get to know him better, and still can’t imagine having kids with him? Would that make me a failure? Would that invalidate everything else in this project? It’s pretty high on his list… To be honest, I’ve never had any strong maternal urges. I used to say, I’d never have kids, but I’ve softened my position to say that I reserve the right to change my mind. It’s just that I would want to be a good parent, and I feel like being a good parent means being stable, making sacrifices and being happy with the sacrifices you have to make. I know people who do this, do a good job and love being a parent, but I don’t know if I could be that person. I may be a little too self-centered and focused on my artwork to be a good parent.
is not disabled: I am not physically or mentally disabled. I have a little dyslexia, but I don’t consider that a disability. As far as my body goes, I take for granted how well it works. The only injuries I’ve ever experienced are twisted ankles, stitches in my knee, and cuts, bumps and bruises. I’ve never even broken a bone. However, I am not the most coordinated person. I tend to walk into doorways and trip over nothing. But I don’t think being clumsy qualifies as “disabled”. The dictionary says:
dis•a•bled
1. crippled; injured; incapacitated.
TO DO LIST:
1. work out a little more, look into joining a sport
2. diet and lose 10 lbs. (change that to 4)
3. get my hair styled like Jennifer Aniston
4. look into getting something to fill in the gap between my teeth
So this should be a good start. Let me know if you all have any other suggestions.
February 25th, 2008 at 12:49 pm
i have to say, you captured liv tyler’s “deer in the headlights” look perfectly.
February 25th, 2008 at 3:47 pm
Excellent photo analysis of yourself with the celebrities. As for the gap between teeth I hope you are looking at both permanent or temporary options. For life after this project is your life.
February 25th, 2008 at 3:57 pm
Woah! Lemme tell you that you could easily earn a living impersonating celebrities. I agree with farbel about your Liv Tyler’s look!
And my favorite/sweetest one was Molly Ringwald.
February 25th, 2008 at 8:36 pm
Thanks for the encouragement!
Poetry goddess, I will definitely look for a temporary fix for my teeth as well as permanent.
On another good note, I went to the gym today and was surprised to find that I only weigh 154 lbs (I haven’t weighed myself in weeks). Which is strange because I haven’t worked out regularly for a couple of months. When I stepped on the scale I was a bit skeptical, so I weighed myself two more times. Then I looked at my body critically and thought, “I look fatter than 154. Maybe I’ve lost muscle and gained fat… fat weighs less than muscle.”
For the last 10 years, going to the gym has been part of my daily routine. It makes me feel good and gives me the energy for my busy schedule. But this has been an especially busy time, and I got off my routine. So, I feel a bit out of shape right now, but I had a good workout today and am really looking forward to being back on a schedule. It’s nice to know that I don’t need to lose very much weight. Hurray. However, I still need to consider if I am “thin and athletic” enough…
I wanted to add to my TO DO LIST:
5. wear some light makeup
All the women he mentioned wear makeup. It’s probably part of being in Hollywood, on TV, and in the spotlight. Plus, I think it will add to my having a nice face.
6. look into collagen for my lips
All these women have much bigger lips than me. I wonder if collagen hurts?
-Your Perfect Woman
February 25th, 2008 at 10:16 pm
“But I’m reluctant to inject botulism into my face unless it’s absolutely necessary. It just seems strange and barbaric to put a bacteria under your skin to kill nerves.”
Dear Perfect Woman,
Just a small correction. While I could be wrong, as far as I know they inject the toxin, which is what is responsible for cases of botulism, that is produced by Clostridium botulinum, the bacterium, and not the bacterium itself.
Wishing you the very best in this project,
Your Cheshire Cat
February 25th, 2008 at 10:45 pm
Thanks for the correction Cheshire Cat! It still seems strange and barbaric…
I googled it and here’s what I found:
FROM HOW BOTOX WORKS:
//health.howstuffworks.com/botox1.htm
What is Botox?
Botox® is a trade name for botulinum toxin A. In this way, Botox® is related to botulism. Botulism is a form of food poisoning that occurs when someone eats something containing a neurotoxin produced by the bacterium Clostridium botulinum. Botulinum toxin A is one of the neurotoxins produced by Clostridium botulinum.
The most serious symptom of botulism is paralysis, which in some cases has proven to be fatal. The botulinum toxins (there are seven — types are A through G) attach themselves to nerve endings. Once this happens, acetylcholine, the neurotransmitter responsible for triggering muscle contractions, cannot be released. A series of proteins, VAMP, syntaxin and SNAP-25, are essential for the release of acetylcholine. Certain botulinum toxins attack these proteins. Botulinum toxin A (Botox) affects the SNAP-25.
Basically, the botulinum toxins block the signals that would normally tell your muscles to contract. Say, for example, it attacks the muscles in your chest — this could have a profound impact on your breathing. When people die from botulism, this is often the cause — the respiratory muscles are paralyzed so it’s impossible to breathe.
-Your Perfect Woman
February 26th, 2008 at 12:22 pm
Getting tanned would be beneficial, if done carefully. Of course, the perfect women use bronzers, etc. Because I am not in favor of botox, I’d recommend lip plumper instead, if you wish to play with that. Being vivacious, confident and lively has a great deal to do with other’s impressions of what “pretty” is. Anyone who would embark on your Perfect Woman Project I suspect inherently has those qualities. What do you think?
March 3rd, 2008 at 12:14 pm
Look if u want guys to notice you get bigger boobs!!! DD do the damn thing….
i hope you got $10000 for an augmentation.
i just found an auction on ebay for 99 cents if your not a big spender
//cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&ssPageName=STRK:MESEX:IT&item=140212411509&_trksid=p3984.cSELL.m315.lVI#ebayphotohosting
March 3rd, 2008 at 1:11 pm
I don’t want guys to notice me.
I want to become Alan’s Perfect Woman. He asked for Jennifer Anniston’s boobs. I think we are the same size. I may even have slightly bigger boobs.
Thanks for the suggestion.
-Your Perfect Woman